What? 787kms, 20650m d+ according to the roadbook – 743.86kms and 18.737m d+ according to my Garmin! WTF? Have I missed something? Or have I really done the entire Haute Route des Alpes 2018?!!! F*ck yes, I’m sure I did…. OK so I may have taken the inside on a few downhill bends here and there. Forgetting for a minute that I’m not really a pro…. Or maybe the Garmin doesn’t add the distance when you do too many wheelies ???

DISCLAIMER: This year, I’ve teamed up with OC Sport. The guys who organise the Haute Route, to take part in a few events as an influencer – damn, I hate that word! Politicians influence people, not me; I simply share my love of endurance sports. I try to make people laugh or smile. In short, it doesn’t matter.

One of these events was the Haute Route des Alpes, so I got the wild card to take part in the race! That said, I’m not bullshitting and all the words here are my own. I’m not paid to tell you how great it was. So everything that follows is influenced by me, myself & my inner self, not by partners or contracts.

Spoiler alert: I managed to get from Megève to Nice. I never really doubted that I would make it. Come on, I’ve been cycling and racing for 20 years. Even if it’s usually on flat roads and even if I eat a lot of salad, I’ll never be just a rouleur. A few kilometres on one of the most brutal climbs in France wasn’t really going to scare me. I was never going to fly in the mountains (thanks to Carlo Fino for reminding me of the harsh reality of gravity…). But I was going to get there at my own speed, and take a few photos along the way!

On paper, the Haute Route is a serious affair: 6 stages and 1 time trial over seven days of racing. It was originally conceived a few years ago as the hardest amateur race there is. Since then, it’s calmed down a bit, and for those of you who are considering it but are too scared to take the plunge, I can say from experience that it’s more than manageable – even for a rouleur wearing coloured socks*.

The Haute Route is as difficult and long as you want it to be! The route can scare anyone, except Alberto Contador. In fact, once you’re there, you realise that it’s all about cycling through some of the most beautiful scenery the Alps have to offer.

How many opportunities will you have to ride successively La Colombière, La Madeleine, Le Télégraphe, Le Galibier, l’Alpe d’Huez, l’Izoard, La Bonette & Co, with a bunch of really cool friends who enjoy cycling all day long?

Hell, I’ve never been a fan of those cyclo-sportives where Alain Philippe turns up on his red and green Cannondale with hairy legs, a sagging jersey and a crooked helmet… What the hell, if I look like a snob on a bike, you already know I am. But it wasn’t really like that and even if it had been, I would have been part of the landscape anyway. From the very first day, I cycled alongside Christian from Canada, Carlo from Italy, Jim from the United States, Gilles from the village next to mine, Patrick from Florida, Alan from Perth… and I had a good laugh with them all.

Some parts of the event were run in race mode. Lacaze likes to crank up the watts on a bike and the hills weren’t really going to change that. There’s a start, a finish, a ranking and prizes, so it’s still a race. But at the end of the day, you’re there to race against yourself! The biggest battle of the week is you against YOU.